This is of course the start of Hamlet’s famous soliloquy, whether to continue to live his life or to end it. I use it in the context of To Be Present or Not to be Present.
We are always coloured by our mood, if we feel happy and bright we may be more or less balanced, if we feel sad and melancholic we may be off balance. We are attuned to the world through our moods and the mood dictates are Beingness in the world. Whatever mood we are in, we can choose to be present or not to be present.
To be, or Not to be, is the question, the position or the mind state, in a moment of wanting to say or act out we have a choice, “to be or not to be”. To be, I see as resting in awareness, in presence, Not to be is to give into chaos and habit mind, to react. It is of course a momentary fraction of a pause that will make the difference to whether you respond or react in any given situation. It can be quite a challenge if you have reacted the same way to certain situations or triggers for most of your life.
In a given moment where you notice you are being triggered, pause, make a conscious choice To Be with your breath. That is the point that allows you to choose how the next moment will unfold, it is such a small space but it becomes magnificent if we heed it. Mindfulness is awareness and the ability to observe experience. No one said it was easy, but with continued practice it does open a space to move away from your usual habitual reaction that is not helpful to you or others.
We can cause harm to our relationships and ourselves if we choose to not be present. Be aware of the energy that pushes you into doing or saying what you don’t want to say but you go ahead anyway because that is what your are used to.
To be (present) or not to be (present), you decide.
Beneath the sound of the waves and the movement of the traffic and the layers of imagery of the mundane and the magical, is an underlying stillness, an open awareness that is exemplified by the tree and the seated buddha.
If you have plants in your home then you will know what joy they bring, aesthetically pleasing, plants have a unique feel good factor and contribute towards purifying the air we breathe. Like us they need certain conditions to be met in order to survive; water, sunlight, nutrients, and the necessary processes of respiration and metabolization. They are impermanent yet intimately tied to continuity. One particular plant of mine is the vibrant Anthurium. It is the plant pictured here in this painting, recognised by its distinctive flowers.
Recently I had been reading about Tibetan Buddhism and Green Tara in particular, she is known as the goddess of compassion. I started to see my Anthurium plant as a kind of embodiment of Green Tara, the form and shape of it was graceful, energetic and abundant. The white heart shaped flowers a beautiful symbol of compassion, and the green of regeneration, hope and vitality. I was truly inspired and decided to run a yoga and creativity workshop, inviting people to choose a plant as a focus for their meditation and art.
Unfortunately that same month my husband suffered from Covid 19. He was confined to the top floor of the house, it was an unusual situation to care for a loved one with distance and masks, to see them suffer yet not be able to offer them the comfort of normal human closeness. It was during this period that I did the workshop on zoom. It was a joy to do this workshop and see others in the flow state of creativity. (Quite the opposite to how my husband was feeling at the time).
This plant painting is the result of what started off as a sketch during the workshop, as the painting progressed my husband was steadily overcoming the virus. Once he returned to normal health and wellness there was genuine gratitude and a sense of renewed life affirmation.
The painting has some Japanese text in the top left and right, the kanji reads as mujō which translates as impermanence. The white square symbolises the moon, the yellow, the sun.
Overall for me the painting is rejoicing in life whilst recognizing its transitory nature.
100 dollars from the proceeds of this workshop were donated to CCR, the Centre for Contemplative Research in Colorado. This centre is dedicated to contemplative and scientific research to address the nature of genuine well-being and seek to understand through meditation and science, the nature of human consciousness.
You can read more about this organisation here:
In Lewis Caroll’s Alice’s adventures in Wonderland, Alice exemplifies the universal human characteristic of wonder as her journey is filled with surreal encounters and challenges. She is surprisingly steadfast and her sense of curiosity and adventure carry the story.
Curiouser and curiouser, how does that caterpillar metamorphose into a moth or a butterfly? Do all white rabbits have pink eyes? Is there really such a thing as a Gryphon?
There are so many things in life that are a mystery, we sometimes forget that. Often curiosity leads to google for an answer, so instead of marvelling at the bird in the tree, we want to quickly identify it; in the process of doing so we miss seeing the behaviour, sounds and colours right before our very eyes. Over 150 years ago when Alice in Wonderland was written it really was all about imagination. According to Travis Proulx at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, surreal and absurdist literature, like Alice in Wonderland, influences our cognition. His research has found that fantastical and absurdist stories push our brains to be more flexible, making us more creative, and quicker to learn new ideas. It also makes us more open to another way of looking or being.
An enquiring curious mind that doesn’t need to look things up on google can expand, be more creative, and we feel joy. We observe the bird with the red black and white markings, the drumming sound against the tree and then it’s out of sight, flown away. We can imagine the woodpecker lives in one of the big round holes, we can imagine the tree being an insect hotel or a favourite spot where a squirrel has buried food for the winter. Stop to wonder and see the wonder.
Alice in Wonderland meets so many absurd characters that come to life in her imagination. One is the caterpillar sitting on a mushroom smoking the hookah pipe, he asks Alice in his low drawn out voice: “Whooo … are … you?”.
A question that takes Alice by surprise, after some thought she replies:
“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
(PS, this question may drop you down the rabbit hole!).
We might work out our bodies and even our minds, but, we can also work out our feelings. It is comforting to think of our feelings as being within our control, like a muscle to be trained. For example, if you are prone to negativity and you are aware of that, then you can start to monitor your behaviour and your attitude in situations where this arises. One feeling you can train that will help you become more mindful day to day, and feel that smile from within, is gratitude.
When I was a little girl one of the things I was taught to do before I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, was to say thank you for everyone in my life. Thank you for my mum, thank you for my dad thank you for my brother and sister, thank you for grandma thank you for ……. My family is big, so I never got to thank all the uncles, aunts and cousins, and I was asleep before I knew it.
Gratitude is a tendency towards appreciating the positive in life, either we are more naturally inclined that way, or we have to realise that it is a quality, a way of being, that requires some effort to cultivate. Whoever we are there is always room for improvement.
Sometimes in the yoga class I will ask people to take a moment to think about three things they are grateful for. I see that within moments they relax more in their posture, and a gentle smile emerges. The reason being, when we are grateful, we feel joy. Gratitude is linked to kindness, it lifts the heart, we are saying thank you from the heart. This could be for the sound of birdsong, the kindness of a neighbour, or a child’s laughter. So many things.
Numerous studies have shown a strong association between higher levels of gratitude and wellbeing, including lowered stress levels, more fulfilling relationships, better sleep and overall greater resilience.
A way to train this feeling is to cultivate a regular practice of being thankful. It can take just a few minutes each day, you could do this before you go to bed. Think about, or write down, at least 3 things you are grateful for today. The more you do this the more you notice the many wonderful things in your life and you can’t help but smile and say thank you. Over time you start feeling grateful during the activities or experiences you are having, before eating your dinner and during the meal, when listening to a loved one, giving your whole attention and being grateful for that person in your life. Really experiencing the sights and sounds of nature instead of being lost in thoughts.
Gratitude is strongly linked with mindfulness, the more aware you are, the more you notice what is going on with your mental and physical state moment to moment. Train the muscle of mindfulness and gratitude and live a more fulfilling life. Like with a physical yoga practice or gym practice, the more you do it, the more you notice a difference.
If you already practice yoga, then you will be familiar with the importance of breathing in an out through the nose, for calming the mind and optimising oxygen intake throughout the body. Yes, we breathe out through the mouth sometimes in yoga, but the essence of the movement practice and the seated meditation is controlled nasal breathing.
Breathing steady and slow in and out through the nose helps increase the amount of oxygen delivered to our muscles and organs, including the heart and brain. The slow steady breath calms us down, or to paraphrase the yoga sutras of Patanjali: we still the fluctuations of the mind, and we increase our focus and attention.
Nasal breathing as opposed to mouth breathing, offers the following benefits:
- The nose filters, warms and moistens the air before it reaches the lungs.
- Breathing in and out through the nose helps us to take fuller and deeper breaths which stimulates the lower lungs to distribute greater amounts of oxygen throughout the body.
- The nasal passage releases nitric oxide, nitric oxide expands the blood vessels, thereby increasing blood flow, and oxygen release.
- Breathing in and out through the nose activates the parasympathetic nervous system, in particular the vagus nerve, which triggers the relaxation response.
Pay attention to how you breathe, if you breathe in and out through the mouth, or in through the nose and out through the mouth, try nasal breathing. It could take some time for you to get used to this, but it is well worth the benefits.
If you would like to understand more about nasal breathing in person, or video call, then whatsapp / call (0623598162) or email me (email@example.com), and I would be delighted to help.
Think of someone you know that has a beautiful smile, the kind that touches your heart and lifts your spirits. You see their eyes light up and they generate a warmth and joy that connects from within.
The likelihood is that you are smiling as you think of this person. Your body relaxes, your breathing is steady, and your mood lifts.
Studies have shown that the act of smiling, alters your body’s chemistry and elevates your mood. We only have to try it to find out!
I will often invite people to smile during a yoga class. If we are holding a yoga pose that requires balance, focus and concentration, we might notice that we tighten in the mouth and hold our breath. Softly smiling however releases tension in the facial muscles, we also let go of tension in the mind and the body. A reminder to breathe steadily in and out through the nose counteracts any feelings of tightness. When we take deeper slower breaths, with a typically longer exhale, we stimulate one of the key nerves of the body, the vagus nerve. Activating this nerve slows the heart rate, reduces blood pressure and helps us feel more calm and at ease.
The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the human body and is the main pathway connecting the gut to the brain. It is in charge of reducing and turning off the ‘fight or flight’ response of the body. You can consciously activate the vagus nerve to induce inner-calm through relaxing the muscles of the face and breathing steadily in and out through the nose.
Sitting comfortably on a chair or on a cushion, take a nice inhale through the nose and sigh out through the mouth. Do this a couple of times.
- Settle yourself and notice your normal breath as it is in this moment.
- Take a breath in through the nose, pause, and then exhale out through the nose, long and slow.
- Centre yourself in the here and now, feeling the length in your spine, notice how your shoulders drop a little with each out breath.
- Now, take a deep steady inhale through the nose, breathe down into the lower belly, feel your ribcage expand, then your chest. Stay with the pause at the top of your inhale. Then take a long deep exhale through the nose, emptying your chest, the rib area and the lower belly. Feel that sense of slowing down as you continue with this breath, softly smiling as you do so.
- Breathe in smiling, feeling the healing, nourishing aspects of oxygen in your body. As you hold the breath for a few seconds, imagine it radiating health and nourishment inside you. Then breathe out thinking “Letting Go”, releasing all of the tension in your body through your exhale.
You can do this breathing at any point throughout the day, waiting at the train station, queuing in the supermarket, or intentionally taking the time out to do this at home or at work.
Keep smiling…..and, of course, keep breathing!
We operate along gradations of I like it / I don’t like it, seeking pleasure, avoiding pain. This impacts our mood and our interactions. Our mind is always quick to judge ourselves and others and this influences our behaviour and our sense of being. Our brains can’t help producing states of desire and aversion regardless of our intentions. This can happen right this moment we can either be in some kind of neutral state, or somewhere along the I like it / I don’t like it spectrum.
Wherever we are there is an element of story telling, we create past, present and future narratives in our minds and most of the time it is fiction. We are the protagonist of our own continuous unfolding monologue, and we must forever defend our sense of self. We are often wanting something else, not wanting what we already have, expecting something more from others and being disappointed when our expectations are not met. We didn’t like what someone said so we let it stoke a fire in us, and we can invent a story as to how this plays out if it were to happen again.
How can we can let go of this often defensive attachment to self during our day to day life? This is no easy task and takes commitment and time to tune into what is going on in our mind and our bodies, observing, noticing, reflecting, and letting go. We must be mindful not to be too harsh with ourselves, but to adopt an attitude of kindness as we cultivate a more balanced way to be.
It is a continuous ebb and flow as we let go of the narrow world of judgement and thereby slowly loosen the grip on our own self importance.
Imagine doing something that you enjoy and the more you do it the more you get better at it, and it helps you reach heights that you never thought possible? (And no, it’s not parachuting!).
Cultivating a regular yoga and meditation practice can prepare you for anything. That sounds like quite a claim but it’s true. If you can achieve a natural resting state of equanimity and emotional resilience then you are pretty much prepared for whatever comes your way.
I know because I speak from experience. A recent example is from early 2019 where I had to have an operation and undergo surgery. It is without doubt that my yoga and meditation practice helped me physically and mentally, pre and post surgery. The many years of yoga and mindfulness helped create the resilience necessary to face difficult times. Since my operation I feel that there has been a radical shift in my nervous system and consciousness, and my body has an unprecedented degree of suppleness and energy. This is thanks to the operation itself but also to my regular practice of meditation and breathing work, all part of yoga.
Mindfulness research is showing how meditation can benefit physical health as well as mental well being and the best way to know this is to experience it for yourself.
Yoga unites the mind and the body through the breath, and that is an almost literal translation of the word. It also helps us in times of difficulty. When I did the 8 week MBCT course some years ago, the trainer said that sustained meditation practice was like weaving your own parachute, so that when the time comes when you need all the help you can muster, your parachute is ready. As Mark Williams and Danny Penman wrote in ‘Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World’, “there’s no point in doing this when we’re falling headlong towards destruction. We have to weave our parachute every day so that it’s always there to hold us in an emergency.”
Here are two videos, one is a short guided meditation, the other one is a body scan. Both can help you in your journey to weave your own parachute: